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Legends. Stories, scattered through time. Mankind has grown quite fond of recounting the many exploits of heroes and villains, forgetting so easily that we are remnants - byproducts - of a forgotten past.

Join the ranks of Remnant’s prestigious Academies as you fight to protect the Four Kingdoms from the clutches of the evil Creatures of Grimm. Alternatively, you may work towards bringing the world to its knees by fighting against the last sparks of humanity. Red Like Roses is based on the hit web-series RWBY by Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth Productions.

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feb 16 we are excited to announce the unveiling of the new skin, CASPIAN! :D
 
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 Kikai Yuza
Red is Dead
 Posted: May 22 2016, 01:09 AM
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Kikai Yuza
full name




GENERAL INFORMATION
AGE.
Seventeen
BIRTHDATE.
June/1st
GENDER.
Female
OCCUPATION.
1st Year student at Atlas
AURA & SEMBLANCE.
Kikai's aura is a brownish orange color. Her semblance summons a giant thunder cloud covering the top of her she then can use her gauntlets command the cloud to fire a long range lightning bolt with incredible speed and at the very end of it to insure that Kikai would hit her target the cloud will go about 5 feet before floating into the sky and making one last lighting bolt that is stronger than the rest if hit by the lighting bolt he will replenish Kikais energy by transferring the shock into her. The downfall of this is it takes large amounts of energy and temporarily shuts down her gauntlets making Kikai slow and unable to dodge or block any attack till she gains her energy back and her gauntlets reactivate. The cloud lats about 6 seconds only allowing 10 lighting bolts before she will shut down and wait till she is regains her ability to fight and win.
WEAPON.
Shock Gauntlets: Kikai's weapon that are like gloves with a circle in the middle that generates electricity that could shock her target by touching them or if she rubs her hands together she can shoot a small ranged lighting bolt. The gloves are made of bronze so she can generate lightning faster. the gauntlets could act a shield from bullets but she has to aim the gauntlets at the bullets range. Owl form: Kikai's gauntlets double as a mechanical owl named Fukurō that flies around generating small electric charges that he emits from his body trying to catch their opponent off guard.

BONUS: N/A

PERSONAL PROFILE

APPEARANCE.
Kikai is 5'6" and weighs 100 pounds she has long silver hair she wears old-timely Victorian clothes that she hardly ever takes off unless she is attending a formal event or is about to go to bed. She has blue eyes that glow purple during her semblance she carries a metal owl on her shoulder that she talks to when she is alone or watching a duel between hunters/huntresses the owl is made of bronze so he can generate electricity which makes his glass eyes glow white.

PERSONALITY.
Kikai is very smart and observant she likes to watch rather than actually fight. Mainly because Fukurō tells Kikai battle strategies on every person willing to fight Kikai. She spends most of her time learning from her owl and doesn't speak to other students because she is afraid the will drag her down. So in other words she is a teachers pet and will always raise her hand and get perfect grades to be the smartest person in beacon is her goal and Fukurō was going to help her do that. Her people skills aren't all to good but she is a worthy foe in battle due to her electric shocks that could possible be her best attribute.

HISTORY.
Kikai's parents were always strategic hunters when it came to purging the world from evil so she had to live up to a very high expectation. So she spent most of her childhood becoming the perfect girl she had to be which was very smart and strong which was very hard to do. But one day while tinkering with metal in a junkyard and created her best friend named Fukurō a mechanical owl that was programmed to aid Kikai by telling her strategies and how to counter moves but this happened before battles so Fukurō wasn't much help in battle. So Kikai lost almost all of her fights. Until one day she had enough so reprogrammed Fukurō to split into a weapon that she can use and the easiest one to make the owl form were to twin gauntlets that could soon generate lightning. Finally Kikai was going to achieve her goal of being the best in her family. But first Kikai had to graduate school and become one of the best huntresses out there being a straight A student has its perks but Kikai strains herself on being the best which slows her down and makes her over think situations to the point where she loses most fights because of it, not even Fukuro can help her since she ignores him and tries to win on her own which usally ends in her failing.

OUT OF CHARACTER

ALIAS.
Red Is Dead

FACE CLAIM.
Angel from Angel Beats

INSPIRATION.
Just thought of a super smart girl with an animal and that rest came tumbling through..

ANYTHING ELSE.
I don't think so?

Referred by: Google http://files.b1.jcink.com/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif



This post has been edited by Red is Dead: May 25 2016, 09:50 PM

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Ryees
 Posted: May 24 2016, 01:43 PM
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PENDING

More!

This profile very much feels like the rushed product of an enthusiastic player who just can not wait to jump into the action. That spirit is great, but without a proper character, it's hard to write! We would like more detail on how the gauntlets work: Does the lightning rely solely on her gauntlets? Is her semblance just a generated cloud? How long can she keep it active before straining herself? The more detail you give, the better off you will be in the long run.

This is true of her history as well. Keep in mind, this application is not just your audition to Red Like Roses, it is also your audition to every person you will ever write with on the site. If your application does not make your character look interesting, you will find yourself with less interested writing partners.

Do some more writing here, and get back to us in the future. We look forward to seeing what you create when you push yourself.

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Ryees
 Posted: Jun 3 2016, 07:17 PM
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DENIED

There is a lot going on with this profile, and while some concepts are good, there are simply too many errors to overlook. On the purely clerical end, the sheer number of grammatical errors make the profile not only difficult to read and enjoy, but also difficult to grade. Everything feels rushed, hastily slapped together, and generally unpolished. Unclear descriptions and short paragraphs lacking detail give us very little to go off of, and as such make approving this profile impossible.

Her personality and history are bland and lifeless. It is stated that she does not particularly like to fight, but then goes on to say that she is a truly formidable combatant. Her owl seems to have more development than Kikai herself, but is also described in so little detail that it is nearly impossible to tell how exactly it learns the information it passes on to her. It is clear that some thought and creativity were put into the owl and its transformation into her weapon, but it seems like most of those thoughts stayed within your head and never quite made it to paper.

Your concepts are good. Your ideas are good. The execution of those ideas will eventually lead you to a character that will flourish in any environment you put that character into, but that execution did not come through in this iteration. Our suggestion is to start from the ground up and rewrite your profile with your concepts in mind.

We wish you the best of luck. When you find your voice, there will be a place for you in the terrible fate of RED LIKE ROSES.

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